maintain the mystery

Oops I think this just became a photography blog. Well kind of. As usual, my musical output isn't really anything impressive but I have been working on photography stuff so I uploaded some. I hope that's ok!

To start with, here's a really old shot that I just re-edited

Still

I've gotten everything that I used as an excuse for not making better music. I used to say that I could do it when I had a Macbook. Then, only if I had my own Macbook. I said that I needed a synth. A better guitar. The right cords and converters. Guitar lessons. A band. New software is still on the list, and a tabla or drum machine, but you and I can both see how this is going. Tonight I realized how pathetic my attempts have been. Since I moved into my dorm, I have only touched my guitar and Garageband once. ONCE. And, (even though I try not to say this out loud), I may have some ridiculous dreams of actually doing music for a living someday. I am a contradiction. I want to take the world by storm with my music, but yet I don't write or even play. I've heard it said that if something is important enough to you, you'll make time for it. But music is important to me. The only reason I can think of is that I'm scared- it might not turn out like I imagined (read: perfect), and then I would feel like permanently quitting. Isn't it better if I just postpone the failure so at least right now I can feel like I'm good at music?

Tonight, I broke out an unfinished song, one which explores new musical territory for me. That means that there is a huge risk involved. If my attempt to.... rap (yes, little middle-class white girl, blah blah blah- shut up)... if rap doesn't doesn't go well this time, I might never touch it again. I found some old synth/iPad recordings and tried to put the two together. Perfect? NO. But at least I opened Garageband.

I need to remember to keep getting back on the horse, even though it's big and it's scary and it is wayyyy too easy to fall off. And tomorrow, I will open Garageband again.

XXX
storm

We can check that off.

     One thing I remember learning in ninth grade health class besides "drugs are bad" was that the high you get from them is the same as playing music or sports or acting on stage or skydiving or rock-climbing. So you can buy happiness. It's called weed. But, wouldn't it be more fun to actually skydive?

Amazing skydiving video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFEN7BQ7Zus&list=FLjZlHcBb2iP7iP6pJeYE-VA&feature=mh_lolz

My health teacher at the time was a musician, and he told us he found euphoria playing with his band on stage. I always thought that was kind of cool, and never having experimented with lessthanlegal substances myself, wondered what a rush that was worth risk and money would feel like. I also happen to be a musician, but am pretty shy and scared of playing in front of actual people. I wasn't the type of person that could play live. But, lately I've been restless and frustrated with the multiple ruts I've allowed myself to fall into. I've been far too busy with The Mentalist to bother to climb back out of those ruts. That's just pathetic. A week or two ago, I called up my friend who, like me, loves music, but is scared of performing. "Play live" was on the summer bucket list. In fact, "LIVE" had been on my hand (where I write everything important) for the past three years. Tonight was open mic night at a local venue. And tonight, I can finally wash my hands of "LIVE"- literally. I couldn't help noticing that my name online is storm (the reasons behind this deserve their own whole post) and, as we drove home, a huge thunderstorm blew in, with the dramatic flashes following us as we sped away at the speed of light, euphoric at having finally conquered some long-standing fears. A good omen?

XXX 
storm